Top Ten Drunken Slut Songs- This is our homage to all the drunk sluts out there that make fools of themselves in the club by dancing and singing along to songs that make them look horrible! It’s one thing to go out and dance and have fun, but to look like a total tramp doing so is another story! These songs are blatantly sexual and degrading but oh so great! Can make a girl like me feel like an absolute saint! Break out the stripper poles, but some Patron on ice and get ready to get freaky!!
JOINT:
Nickelback- Something In Your Mouth
Oh Nickelback, they always make such great songs to make fun of. If you’re a fan, I’m sorry but I really just can’t stand these guys! They continually make crap that everyone just loves for some reason! This song is a perfect example. I know there are girls just driving around in their cars singing their little hearts out to this one, and not even realizing how stupid they look by doing so! Seriously, something in your mouth? Do they not get what they are talking about? Guess some girls just like to look like stupid sluts! Every lyric in this song just screams drunk slut! If you’re a girl and sing along to this song, please go to the back of the line because you are bringing us all down! This song makes me feel literally ill and I cannot believe it’s a hit single! But, I’m sure it’s a favorite at your local strip club!
DIDDLE:
Snoop feat. Chingy & Ludacris – Holiday Inn
Picture this… You’re at a dark club with your girlfriend and her cousin. You’ve had a few drinks so whatever. This song comes on and next thing you know your girl is GONE! Where do you find her? How about rubbing against the naughty parts of some random ass dude in the middle of the dance floor? What do you call that? A drunk slut is what I call it. So this song makes the list. I mean, it’s a song ABOUT drunk sluts! Still though, you can’t help but love Luda’s verse in this damn song. I mean “Stop, drop KABOOM. Rub on your nipples” I’m pretty sure this song isn’t about his nanny or being in a committed relationship. This song is about meeting up with some drunk sluts at a hotel and gettin it ON! So that in mind… This song fits perfectly!
JOINT:
Akon ft. Snoop Dogg- I Wanna Fuck You
This is a song I’ve heard in the club far too often and think it’s just a little hilarious! The radio version made it seem almost sweet, even though you still knew he was talking about a stripper, there was still a little hope that he might have actually found love in the strip club. But no, he just wants to fuck, like so many other men in the club. This gets to playing and suddenly every girl in the club thinks they are suddenly way hotter than they really are and that every man is falling in love with them. I must admit, I do like this song, but not because of the message! I’m just a Snoop fan! But anytime I hear it I already know that I shouldn’t be singing along. Maybe, just maybe in the privacy of my own home for that special someone, but that is just a maybe! You have to love the honesty of the song though because there is no denying what it’s all about.
DIDDLE:
What’s Your Fantasy – Ludacris feat. Shawna
Here it is… If you’re a lonely guy and you’re chillin at a club and you’re looking to get laid TONIGHT… Just wait till they bump this damn song. From the “YEAH YEAH YEAH YEAH” that kicks this song off all the way to the VULGAR chorus and subject matter. This jam gets the women on the dancefloor and rubbing against anything and everything in sight every time! I mean, the whole damn song is just about insane places to have sex, if that dosen’t turn a woman on when she’s drunk then maybe you’ve got the wrong kinda “slut” ya know? Maybe she’s just not a slut? Either way, you’re ass ain’t gettin laid, so give it up sucker!
JOINT:
T Pain- I’m In Love With A Stripper
The classic club song that makes every female think that they have magically transformed into this goddess stripper when in reality half of the people looking at them wishes they would please stop dancing! If you’ve ever been to the strip club then I’m sure you’ve heard this lovely song. Very dancable and catchy, but so ridiculous at the same time! Seriously, who the hell falls in love with a stripper? I guess it does happen, but I doubt it works out too often! Guess even strippers need a theme song! This is the ultimate choice for the girls that work the pole for that money!
DIDDLE:
Hot in HURR – Nelly
you know the song. It’s become a damn anthem! Just listen to the guy who apparently fell off his bike and scraped his face! Hell at least he’s not hurt as bad as that Murphy Lee guy next to him, hell he’s gotta wear a mask!!! Alright, follow along with me, folks.
IT’S GETTIN HOT IN HURR!
SO TAKE OFF ALL YOUR CLOTHES!!!
Honestly the day that this song dosen’t get the sluts to take their clothes off will be the day I give up on music all together. I’m not here to judge the sluts, believe me… If it wasn’t for sluts I probably would have never had sex to begin with, lol. Keep doing your thing sluts. And remember guys, you can’t turn a ho into a housewife. Sorry. Okay, I’m done now, I’ll toss it on over to Joint.
JOINT:
Khia- My Neck My Back
The classiest song I have heard in years! Alright, guess sarcasm just doesn’t transcend across the web, but I can’t imagine who would take that statement seriously if you’ve ever heard this song! Nothing sexier than a girl singing about how she likes to get her crack licked. A great bump and grind song for the clubs for all the drunken girls to act even sluttier than they already are! This song really makes me want to go take a shower and wash away the filth. I can’t help but listen to it and laugh though! I really can’t believe it ever hit the radio stations! I guess censorship only goes so far, even if you know exactly what the person is talking about. I knew what she was saying the first time I heard it, I was just hoping for the sake of humanity that I was wrong, but I wasn’t. When you want to live out that complete dirty slut act, just throw this song on and stick your ass in someones face. You’re bound to get a reaction in one way or the other!
DIDDLE:
Back Dat Azz Up – Juvenile
Okay… This was my shit back during my freshmen year in highschool, son. I don’t even care! Cash Money Millionaires were bad motherfucker! And before Lil Wayne was ruining our youth by making the critics think he’s got some kind of skill while rapping about licking lollipops, he was nothing more than the guy who shouted out the hook to the Millionaires songs. For example, does Juvenile think Wayne has the skill to preform a verse on his album? Hell no, he gives it to the mildly retarded seeming Manny Fresh… What’s Wayne get? “drop it like its hot drop drop it like it’s hot” etc etc etc.
Anyway, aside from my hatred for Wayne, this song actually makes ME wanna get up and be a drunk slut! Seriously, this is the jam, son! And if this dosen’t get the women backin it up in the clubs then theres somethin wrong with this world. Seriously.
JOINT:
Ying Yang Twins- The Whisper Song
Another song that sounded much more decent on the radio, but just so blatantly horrible when you hear the actual lyrics! No room for imagination with this one, and it has girls everywhere drunkingly groping men at bars all over the country! I can see why they whisper the whole song! I’m sure their mothers are proud! Another song that I am kind of a fan of, but more for the addicting background music that makes me want to dance unvoluntarily everytime I hear it! Just can’t help it! However, I am laughing at the whole idea of the song while I’m doing it! How could any guy win a girl over with a song like this? Are women really that pathetic? I sure hope not! A great song for the making of a mistaken one night stand, but I seriously doubt will ever be a classic!
Well that’s the list for tonight! Stay tuned for the next one comming soon… Hey.. Where are you going? OH SHIT! PUT YOUR CLOTHES BACK ON! Aw damn… Joint, I think we got a bit too sexy for em tonight. Baby makin songs and drunk slut songs… Seems like it’s a bit too much for em…
*Awkward silence*
So… you wanna maybe go have a drink, catch a movie, have some sex, ya know… See what happens?….. No? Oh, okay that’s cool. I’ve got a date anyway with my girl Lucy… Lefty Lucy.
Stay tuned folks, we shall return with a new list SOON!
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